In case you missed it, I was hurt badly when a drunk driver plowed into my car on December 8th. He broke my back and did a substantial amount of damage to my car. I had back surgery that weekend and have been on the mend ever since.
This is hard. Like many others, my family has been through many crises over the last few years. I nearly died of an undiagnosed kidney condition last year, and I ended up getting a hip replaced. I've had a daughter who has torn both her ACLs in the last two years, with her second coming on Labor Day. I've also had some other serious issues that have increased my family's overall stress levels.
But even with the negatives, my family has had a lot of positives so far in 2022. We had a wonderful trip to the National Parks of the west, my wife and I celebrated our anniversary in Colorado, and we managed to get an October trip to South Carolina to see my family.
Then, at 6:10 PM on December 8th, whatever plans I had disappeared. I had a new reality thrust upon me and my family.
That Friday in the hospital was a dark day indeed. It's the closest I've ever come to breaking. Not only was I facing surgery and months of rehabilitation, not only was I facing the questions of how this would be covered as insurance has its limits, and not only was I twisting in regards to the endless stress and demands of the holidays, both professionally and personally, my biggest concern was my wife. Her life just became a lot more stressful, not only worrying about her husband, but with a load of things that were just unceremoniously dumped on her, things which she had to cover even though her days were already hectic.
She called the hospital Chaplin to come and visit. The woman who showed up was the angel we needed. Granted she was familiar with people in our exact situation having to come to grips with a dramatically shifting existence, so she knew how to approach us. What she really did was break us of our Minnesota-ness.
Before she came into to talk with us, I was weathering an underlying storm. My Minnesota nature was trying to take over. The Minnesota nature is to tap down negative feelings and only try to focus on the positive, in my case a tiny spoonful of positivity which mainly consisted of being grateful it wasn't injured much worse.
We were (pathetically) rationalizing with ourselves about how the drunk was actually a nice guy for not fleeing the scene, and how maybe this situation was the low point from which this individual will begin to crawl out. The Chaplin's first comment to us was, 'you have a right to be angry, so do not shy away from being angry. You have a right to be sad, so do not shy away from being sad.' She was right, and like a dam giving way, the emotions flowed hard and steady for about an hour.
I will always be grateful to this Chaplin for making us realize it was okay to embrace our negative emotions, as a way to grieve and cope. You have to at times embrace negativity to find the positivity on the other side. The trick is to not stall out in the negative.
It was soon afterward I realized my story had been picked up by one of the news outlets in town and I was inundated with well-wishes, prayers, and truly uplifting comments. For everyone who reached out during this stretch, thank you so much.
I am still angry and sad (and I will be for a long time) but I am also thankful, happy, blessed, and loved. You all put a smile on my face. I will get through this. I will recover, I will heal, and I hope to be a better person when this is all done.
Another thing that got me through that hospital stay was revisiting a bit of classic comedy gold. I hadn't really turned the TV on while I was there but in my post-surgical pain, I decided to see if there was something that could take my mind off of it. The first channel I turned on was just beginning to air an all-time best Cheers episode(s), the two-parter Woody's Wedding. This is so funny; go find it for yourself.
Of course, it's not on YouTube, but some of the clips are. Here are some of the scenes from the episode. For me, the alcohol joke didn't resonate after my drunk driver incident, but it's still funny.
Also tonight, The Late Show's annual Santa cartoon is pretty good, taking on Putin.
I said this, and as corny as it sounds, I have found my Christmas spirit this year. I wish it wasn't the hard way, but sometimes you have to go through the Andy Dufresne sewer line crawl to get to the positive on the other side.
Be safe, stay home if you are sick, and remember to get vaccinated for the flu and for COVID.
Merry Christmas everyone.
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