For God's Sake! Take the Beef N'Cheddar

Most of us remember the guy from our youthful days who would eat anything for a dollar.  Something rancid or smelly you'd immediately start to throw out?  Someone would stop you and mention, "Maybe 'that guy' would take a bite?"  I remember when a guy in my military unit accidentally left tuna out overnight and paid 'that guy' to take a bite.  He did and proceeded to get very sick.  The unit adopted a new "don't eat things you should know not to eat" policy.  The guy who ate the spoiled tuna actually framed the dollar bill and hung it up in his room, a source of pride for the guy too stupid to get out of his own way.

Why did I start with that story?  You'll understand perfectly in a few paragraphs.

Republicans are in a real conundrum right now.  It's looking like they will be stuck with Trump as their candidate for President again in 2024, and they already know the higher office nullifying resume which his supporters applaud is box office poison when it comes to November of next year.

That's why Republican have to convince you of two lies.  The first is that Donald Trump is not THAT bad, while at the same time convincing you that Joe Biden is (at best) no better than Trump.  This is their ONLY path to victory. 

This is a game plan they used with shocking success in 2016.  Hillary Clinton was a FAR superior candidate, but through constant negative ads, baseless repeated investigations into non-existent scandals, and a social media campaign that convinced a shocking amount of Democrats that Clinton would be no better than Trump (causing many to either sit out the election or place a protest vote for a guy who had endorsed Clinton), Trump beat Clinton.  

Let's put 2016 into food terms. Hillary Clinton might not have been your first meal choice but she really was a relatively tasty family restaurant meal.  Donald Trump was an actual crap sandwich; two pieces of bread with a ton of crap in between.  Republicans convinced enough people to order the crap sandwich instead of the tasty family restaurant meal in 2016, and in doing so Trump won.  

I remember staring at the ceiling that night wondering what the hell my country had just done.  Almost immediately many of the Democrats who had bought the crap sandwich with a smile on their faces stopped chewing and realized "Oh my god! I've eaten a crap sandwich!" Trump voters spent the next three years savoring every bite of the crap sandwich, chewing it with a smile on their faces, as they convinced themselves they were actually eating filet mignon.

Sorry for the visual, but I'm not wrong!

By the time we got to 2020, and Trump, with help from the Republicans in Congress, sat three far right-extremist Republican judges on the Supreme Court, enough people woke up and decided to pass on the crap sandwich.  A shocking amount of Republicans eagerly ordered seconds.  Common sense won the day, but then Republicans (like the guy I mentioned from my military unit who'd eat anything for a dollar, people too stupid to realize they are eating something which will undoubtedly make them sick and could likely kill them) were furious when the electorate in 2020 pointed out they were eating crap.  The crowd that attacked the Capitol on January 6th, trying to overthrow Democracy itself, was a crowd of 'that guy' (and a few idiot gals) who'd eat anything for a dollar, demanding their second potion of crap sandwich.

We're now heading into 2024 with Joe Biden on the top of the Democratic ticket.  I've not always agreed with Joe Biden, but you can't deny all he has gotten done in his first term.  His first two years in office were the most productive first two years since FDR and if not for SCOTUS and Republicans, he would've made this country even better.

Trump is a political disaster, undeniably a crap sandwich in human form.  It's now known he was pressuring two states to find fake votes to overturn their legitimate elections, he and his cronies had coordinated the fake elector scheme, with the intent to overthrow the election in 2020, and there's the whole classified documents scandal, where he's proudly admitted his guilt as he still tries to proclaim he's innocent.  We still do not know where many of our country's most secure documents ended up, or if Trump actually sold them to enemies of the country.

The only chance Republicans have in 2024 is to once again insist Biden is the worst President ever while putting on a hard sell for their 'new and improved' crap sandwich ("Doesn't it look tasty!!!").

The news media is already on board with this scheme, AGAIN.  After SCOTUS, on a laughable decision that struck down Biden's attempt to forgive student loan debt, a decision which half of was "we don't wanna," and the other half was ignoring the actual language of the statute they were invoking, the news media immediately pounced on Biden asking "Why isn't he doing something to address Student Loan Debt?"

WTF! How is it even possible to write that headline?  He WAS trying to address it.  A fraudulent SCOTUS stopped it.  This was not on Biden but on Roberts and the other shady 5.

I've also seen an immediate rise this week in internet trolls screaming "I'm a lifelong Democrat, and I sure hate Trump, but I'd never vote for Biden again!"  It's the SAME EXACT strategy that worked in 2016, convincing just enough Democrats to drop the ball.  Democrats, I know it's hard looking back at 2016 and seeing how badly you got played, but it's time to 1) publicly admit Hillary would've been a FAR better President than Trump, and 2) promise to never sit out an election again BECAUSE ELECTIONS HAVE SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES!  Block the Trump trolls trying to disguise themselves as Democrats and move on.

So you're not the biggest fan of Joe Biden?  Fine.  I think he's the equivalent of a tasty meal from Gordy's in Cloquet, a pasty from Pep's in Virginia, MN, or a tasty pho from Quangs on Eat Street. If you really dislike him, he still is (at worst!!!) an Arby's Beef N'Cheddar.  A Beef N'Cheddar is not the meal you want, but it will get the job done, with a little gas.  Hey, I have occasionally had one, and they're not the worst thing I've ever eaten.

(Side note:  this is not an invite for fanatical anti-fast food lefties or vegans to start screaming about how really horrible Arby's Beef N'Cheddar is.  It's an analogy, not an affront to your lifestyle choices.  Please calm down.)

Most Republicans are getting ready to excitedly order a 3rd serving of crap sandwich; A THIRD!!!  They're already drooling over the thought of eating it right in front of the Democrats, smiling as they swallow it down.  And instead of framing the dollar bill and hanging it on the wall, they'll spend their limited income on Trump flags and merchandise just to show the world they LOVE crap sandwiches and how belligerently insanely stupid they are.

2024 comes down to this decision.  Biden is (at worst!!!) a Beef N'Cheddar.  Trump is an actual crap sandwich that will make you sick and might kill you.  What are you ordering?

This isn't a hard choice for anyone to make, unless you're the idiot who thinks one dollar to eat anything is a good investment.