Fair Labeling Practices

Regular followers of the blog and the radio show know my kids are active in sports.  All three of my kids play sports year round, and as my youngest starts to make the jump up from glorified pick up games to more organized leagues, can I make one request?  Label your league correctly.

What do I mean?  Last year, my daughter played in a local softball league.  The community league had four teams, and we were told over and over again by the league officials, "these teams were randomly picked; at no point did we put certain players on certain teams because of their ability."  Then you saw the other teams.  One 'random' team just happened to have all of the older, bigger girls who had played before.  This team towered over the other teams, destroying the smaller, less experienced girls whenever they matched up.  When I brought this up to a league official, she initially insisted these teams were completely random.  Knowing this wasn't true, I pushed her more, and she snapped at me, "well if you got out here and volunteered, maybe you could get the team you wanted.  Until then, don't you criticize what we did."  

That told me 1) they did indeed put all the better players on one team, 2) they felt justified in doing so because they were rewarding themselves, but not all the volunteers, as 3) even if I did volunteer, there were three other coaches who got the smaller teams, who were just as exasperated by the whole façade as the parents were.  

The problem with this league, in particular; it wasn't supposed to be a 'competitive' league.  It was more of an introduction to the sport for little kids.  Because some organizers, coaches and volunteers are looking to win trophies every single freaking day of the year, because their drive to fulfill that high school senior moment of waiving the state championship trophy to the adoring fans in the stands as mom and dad have a tear rolling down their cheek is constant, they take what is supposed to be an introduction into the sport and turn into freaking Thunderdome. 

I understand the world in which we live, and the competition level in sports keeps creeping back further and further into youth.  We now have 8 year olds in competitive traveling leagues, and parents spending tens of thousands of dollars a year to turn they little Billy or Suzie into the most feared 7 year old in the state.  I get it.  Money has screwed this up beyond fixing, but you can label the leagues truthfully, and allow the parents to determine what they want to their kids to play.

My other daughter walked away from a sport two years ago.  My personal favoritism aside, she was the best player at her age level I saw all season.  Her first year in the league, her team won the end of season title.  As we were driving home, my daughter asked to not play the sport again.  I was shocked.  I asked, "don't you like playing the sport?" 

"Not really.  The kids, the coaches, the parents.  They all take it way too seriously.  I just want to go have fun and not feel like winning is the only thing."  She went onto explain the poor sportsmanship she had witnessed through the entire tournament.  She said, "I hate sore winners."

The next year, knowing her ability, I talked her into playing one more season, something I really regret today.  The 'random' league funneled her, and all of the players from the championship team, onto the same team, with one or two changes; you know, 'randomly.'  They went on to dominate the season again, only to get upset by a team of tiny girls in the second round of the tournament.  The atrocious behavior I witnessed from teammates and parents, all who acted like the greatest injustice of all time happened, made me sick.  My daughter cried in the car on the way home, but not because the team lost.  "Why was something so meaningless so important to them?  Why were they swearing and yelling so much?"  

If the league is going to be a competitive league, label it as so.  Tell the parents, the top kids will play at Level A, medium kids, Level B, and beginner kids, Level C.  Then let the parents decide if they want their seven year olds to experience competitive sports at a young age.  Maybe the reason they don't label them correctly is because they know most parents wouldn't want their kids to be involved in a misguided attempt by a handful of adults intent of trying to turn a little kids sports league into some sort of personal self validation.