Gophers, Let's Just be Friends

55-14.  That was the score of the Ohio State/Illinois college football game from Saturday night, November 1st.  Illinois lost by 41.  Illinois, a team whose only three wins prior to October 25^th were against Youngstown State, Western Kentucky and Texas State.  An Illini team which, prior to October 25^th was giving up, on average, 35.8 points per game, and who got drubbed Saturday.  This was the juggernaut who slain the University of Minnesota Golden Gopher football team on October 25th, a team who, at the time, was leading the Big 10’s Western Division.  The Gophers lost 28-24. 

It’s hard enough for fans of the University of Minnesota to enjoy the football program as it is, considering the mess NCAA Division I football has become.  The league is geared around 20 or so teams, with the sports networks and sponsors all looking to maintain the status quo.  The league does everything in their power to keep less shiny programs from ever seeing any polish.  They have made a mockery out of academics, the concept of the student athlete, and the idea of fairness, but the Golden Gophers, through consistently playing down to highly inferior competition, give the national naysayers the justified ammunition for their criticism and makes it virtually impossible for fans to defend the team, year after year.

Prior to the Illinois game, it felt like the University of Minnesota was going to lose.  The Gophers started to get the look of a team that might encourage their alumni to dust off their maroon and gold flags, only to have them quickly put them back into storage after another degrading loss.  This game was the last chance for Minnesota to get humiliated, and they didn’t disappoint.  They should have beaten Illinois by 14 points.  The Gophers just do not know what to do with success when they start to achieve it.  This has been their modus operandi for so many seasons at the U, it’s hard to tell what came first, the loss to the highly inferior team, or the expectation of said loss.

The Big Ten is a tough conference, as it’s usually considered one of the top three football conferences at the end of any given season.  There’s a level of talent at all Division I football programs, but good teams do not lose to lower quality teams, let alone glorified Division III squads.  The Golden Gophers wouldn’t have run the table, but even if they did manage to beat Iowa and Ohio State at home, and then win at Nebraska and Wisconsin, they’ll be relegated to a lesser bowl game with one word, Illinois.   My guess is they will be lucky to go 1-3 for the rest of the year and, “Hello, Music City Bowl!”

After the loss on October 25th, I shrugged my shoulders and went on with my life.  I don’t plan on buying tickets to a game, or stopping my Saturday to watch one on TV.  I won’t buy my kids Minnesota football jerseys or talk about the good old days.  When considering the variety of sports options in the Twin Cities, University of Minnesota football, for me, is on par with our minor league soccer team and pro lacrosse team.  If someone gives me free tickets, I’ll think about going, but there’s no love or passion, at least not anymore.  I want to be a fan but after twenty plus years of watching the team underperform, I have come to realize I like Gopher football, I’m just not in love with them.

I used to say I don’t care if the Gophers have only four wins every year, as long as at the end of the season, the jug, the axe, the bell and the pig (the trophy’s from the Michigan, Wisconsin, Penn State and Iowa games, respectfully) are in the U of M’s trophy case come December.  Now I say, just win the games against the Big Ten doormats and cellar dwellers, and don’t make me have to agree with the rest of the nation when they say the Golden Gophers are not worth paying attention to.