The 'everyone get's a trophy' world we're supposedly living in doesn't exist, even with our more touchy feely environment. Sure, the 5 year old T-ball league at the Y hands out trophies to everyone, but is that really what's bothering you? They're 5 year olds. Giving them all a freaking participation ribbon is not eroding away society.
My three kids (ages 15, 12 and 9) finished up fall sports a month and a half ago, where my oldest son played baseball and my two daughters played soccer. My son's baseball team was bad; really bad; one win on the season bad. Not only was there no trophy or medals or participation ribbons, they didn't even take a picture of the team.
My two daughters had opposite experiences. My oldest daughter's soccer team was pretty bad, only winning two or three games. They made the playoffs, but that's just because every team made the playoffs. They were promptly beaten, but they did get a trophy, a small one. She wasn't proud of the trophy; she was proud of the effort she put forward, and the friends she made. My youngest daughter's team won her league and tournament. They got super cool trophies with a spinning soccer ball on them, plus a super cool first place ribbon. Trust me, my oldest daughter noticed her younger sister's trophy, staring at it with envy. If the anti-'everyone get's a trophy' people feel as if my oldest daughter is just as happy with her trophy as her little sister is with hers, they're idiots.
Moving past the trophy hatred, where's this anger at other people coming from? I think some people feel, when others are getting satisfying life wins, and they're not, they need to compensate, creating a false narrative; 'certain people who don't deserve it are getting rewarded, when I should be the one getting rewarded.' This manifests itself in a bitter, "Well I'm still better than you, so THERE" mentality. I also think people uncomfortable with their emotions vilify people who are trying to deal with theirs, as opposed to deal with their own issues.
Conservative media also fuels public frustrations with the fake 'wussification of America' storyline. They lie, or grossly distort facts, to make opposing viewpoints seem pathetic and helpless. It's designed to create an 'Us vs. Them' mentality in the viewer, making sure the viewer looks at the news outlet as a trusted friend, creating a false sense of shared superiority. It's Kobra Kai news; "I'm awesome! You're Awesome! You know who isn't awesome? Libertards who are crying! They're so F-ing pathetic! WE SO DOMINATE OVER THEM! NOW SWEEP THE LEG!!!"
Conservatives who lament this soft society are the ones who are usually the most soft. Who always accuses everyone else of violating their rights? Who insists a coffee shop having only red coffee cups is an assault on their religious beliefs? Who insists their delicate psyche will be ruined if they have to make a wedding cake for a gay couple? Who, after spreading the worst hatred and lies about President Obama, are now acting like a southern belle with the vapors at the slightest criticism of Trump? Who insisted, after predominantly African American neighborhoods in Minneapolis were hit with a tornado, that those people were weak for wanting state aid; how when a tornado came through their district, they insist they pulled themselves up by their own bootstraps, putting up road blocks to stop state aid from getting to them, when the reality is they were loudly screaming for the state aide they greedily gobbled up? I don't think they're bad people for getting state aide in an emergency. That's their argument. Using their standards: they yell 'wussy' at everyone else to try to hide their undeniable wussiness.
If you're one of those people who thinks apologizing is for the fragile and powerless only, you're a jerk, AND YOU KNOW IT! Don't be a jackass. Apologize if you need to.
In regards to the people who denounce counselors/therapists, what's wrong with you? Some people want to talk to someone, seeking mental therapy when a serious tragedy happens, or if they just want to talk. Good for them! I'd rather have them do that as opposed to ending their life due to depression. Ignoring mental health issues is why we currently have an epidemic of PTSD in our veterans.
There's one aspect of society I feel we're failing, and it might be misidentified by the people who claim we're a trophy nation. It's accountability. We don't hold people to the consequences of their actions as we should. Today, it's almost impossible to fail a grade in a public elementary school. I'll never forget my 2nd grade teacher at Wickford Elementary in Rhode Island, Mrs. Pierce, telling us if we didn't get the work done, we'd fail and have to go to summer school, or repeat. There was a kid in our class who was held back as evidence this wasn't an idle threat. It motivated me. Today, the learning gap in an elementary school's student body by 6th grade is shocking, created by a reluctance to hold a kid back for their own benefit. I don't think it's wrong, or unnecessary pampering, to give those kids the extra attention they may need, and sometimes a summer program is needed to help a child catch up, but, in the end, if the kid still hasn't done the work needed to move up, we need to have the guts to say, "I'm sorry, but you'll need another year."
When the housing crisis hit in 2008, some people were implying we should give the homeowners caught in these horrible loans a mulligan, letting them to walk away from their loans without repercussions. I sincerely believe the banking industry were horrible people who preyed upon homeowners without the financial wherewithal, but many homeowners refused to do the math themselves. They knowingly signed those atrocious loans with visions of extra money dancing in their heads. As hard as it was for some homeowners, unless there was evidence of a clear cut crime by the bank/mortgage company, the homeowners needed to be held accountable for their own actions. That's not mean spirited. It's societal integrity.
Love, compassion, encouragement, supporting teamwork, boosting self worth, caring, and promoting positive mental health are all wonderful things, and as a Catholic, I can say unequivocally they're Christian principles. The same can be said about holding people accountable for their actions/decisions, something we need to do as a society. At this point, I'll mention the Republican voters, after 40 years of electing candidates who don't follow through with their campaign promises, are the ones who don't hold anyone accountable, something the Republican Party depends on.
If an entire T-ball league of five year olds getting a trophy bothers you; if a grieving person talking to a counselor makes you angry; if someone else getting something you feel you should get, whether you deserve it or not, upsets you, that's on you, not anyone else. Stop trying to belittle others because of your own inadequacies. All you're being is a trophy worthy jerk.
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