Meet Republican from Albert Lea, Representative Peggy Bennett from district 27A, a former elementary school teacher who "encourages healthy debate" to "find common ground."
She showed up at the Freeborn County Republican Summer Picnic on Monday (Try the noodle salad - now even whiter!). As a political tracker recorded, unbeknownst to her, she broke into her comedy bit, a David Letterman-esque Top 10 list on "Why I vote Democrat!"
Let me start right there. A Letterman Top Ten list? How cutting edge. Does she know Letterman has been off the air for over a year? Letterman was one of the greatest of all time, but the Top Ten list was pretty weak most of the last ten years he was on, when he even had one. Then again, when the average age of your typical voter falls in the category of 'founding father,' maybe we should be grateful she didn't break out an Amos n' Andy skit.
To read the nightmare that follows from a real news source, the fine folks at BlueStem Prairie have it all right here: http://www.bluestemprairie.com/bluestemprairie/2016/08/lettermandate-rep-peggy-bennett-recites-fake-top-ten-list-to-freeborn-county-gop-picnic.html
Keep in mind, Peggy is delivering this as "comedy satire," by a Republican who thinks she's so familiar with Democrats, she can present "comedy" about them. She's clearly making things up and distorting reality, to portray Democrats as something they're not, but by trying to make jokes, she's offering her lies and distortions as pseudo-reality, a set up for her dull and lifeless punchlines. It's stereotype comedy, and it's usually unfunny and insulting, unless your audience is against the group you're hating on. It's the same type of comedy racists use to ridicule African Americans and every other minority. On to the Countdown:
#10 - I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I can even marry my German Shepherd
We're starting fast. This is a pathetic attempt at humor, one geared for the dumbest, most ignorant, most intolerant, sub human troglodyte. There's no funny here, or anywhere on this list. Not only does her 'humor' fail, but she doesn't seem to understand state and federal law which recognizes marriage as between two consenting adult humans. And then there's the bestiality/implied dog sex joke. Normal human beings don't make bestiality jokes. They just don't. You're a sick twisted person if you're thinking of how you can work dog sex into everyday conversation, let alone a speech at a GOP picnic. Representative Peggy Bennett, you're a weirdo who needs help. And you consider yourself a Christian? I'll come back to this one later.
#9 - because I believe oil companies profits are 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon 15% is not.
Apparently she thinks the oil companies are building our transportation system. They're not. You'd think someone who represents Albert Lea, one of the busier Interstate crossroads in the upper Midwest, would understand the government builds the roads, and other transportation. Plus oil company profits are obnoxiously high, as we subsidize the industry with billions of taxpayer dollars for free, while cleaning up their consistent messes at tax payer expense as well.
#8 - because I believe the government will do a better job of spending money I earned than I would.
The state does a very effective job with state tax dollars, taxes we all have to pay for a better quality of life. Minnesota was voted one of the best run states in the nation. Representative, we're not talking about your home checkbook. This is a multi layered, complicated accounting system, but considering the GOP rushed a tax bill with faulty language through the session, forcing the Governor to have to veto it before it caused budgetary damage to the state, Peggy, and the rest of the MNGOP, must not know this. Minnesota is running a budget surplus, which means we are not recklessly running up GOP fever dream deficits. If Peggy Bennett had her say, she'd likely be one of those Republicans who would want to cut all funding, for all programs, outside of the ones in her district, as she thinks her district should be able to spend double. Thank God she doesn't have control of the state budget, but it's terrifying she even has a say in it.
#7 - because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
Sarah Palin strikes again! For someone to be offended by what you said, you have to have already said it, hence your Freedom of Speech is fully intact, moron. You're confusing Freedom of Speech with Freedom from Criticism, which is NOT in the Constitution. You can't embrace Freedom of Speech if you're desperately trying to silence your critics. Let me express my Freedom of Speech, as well as my right to criticize: Peggy Bennett, you're amazingly stupid. You actually were a teacher? You taught young children? Did you throw the dog sex joke out to the young kids, too?
#6 - because I'm way to irresponsible to own a gun and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves, I'm also thankful that I have a 9-1-1 service that gets the police to your home in order to identify your body after a home invasion.
First, when did Albert Lea become The Road Warrior's apocalyptic wasteland? Your town, with all its murderers and thieves, sounds like it sucks. Yes, most people are WAY too irresponsible to own a firearm, so common sense training, background checks and limiting what types of weapons (all legal according to the Supreme Court) would go a long way to keeping people safe. It also sounds like you are insisting the police won't ever save you. Why would you insult law enforcement like that?
#5 - because I'm not concerned about billions of babies being aborted, so long as we can keep Death Row inmates alive and comfy.
Our first delve into distorted Republican Christianity. Peggy is so concerned about some lives, but others? Screw them! Who Would Jesus Fry in the Electric Chair? Peggy, I have to ask, you know you live in, and represent(!), Minnesota, a state without the death penalty, right? I'm not sure what state Peggy Bennett thinks she's a Representative in, but if she thinks we have the death penalty, it's not Minnesota.
#4 - because I think illegal aliens have a right to free healthcare, education, and social security benefits and we should take away social security benefits from those who paid into it.
As far as healthcare, more distorted Republican Christianity. It's not very Christian of you to deny people healthcare, regardless of status. I'm pretty sure Lazarus was a pre-existing condition, plus there were the others, the meekest of us all, strangers from strange lands, who Jesus insisted we take care of. As far as education, if the families of undocumented workers are willing to come here and work the jobs white America refuses to work, then by all means their children should be able to get the benefits of American society. And as far as Social Security, the only people who are talking about taking Social Security away from those who've earned it are the Republicans. You must not get your own party's newsletter.
#3 - because businesses should not be allowed make profits for themselves, they need to break even and give the rest to away to the government for redistribution as the Democratic Party sees fit.
Peggy must be on bath salts. This is the GOP fan fiction they've convinced themselves is true to validate their money for the wealthiest only economic policies. Have you seen the list of WILDLY profitable companies who are supporting Hillary Clinton, much to my chagrin. You're confusing a fair tax rate for all with Communism. That's really dumb, purposely dumb. And you were a teacher???
#2 - because I believe liberal judges need to re-write the constitution every few days to see the fringe groups who would never get their agenda's past the voters.
MNGOP Representative Peggy Bennett doesn't seem to understand the three branches of government, and how they work (YIKES!). The Legislative Branch writes and passes bills, the Executive Branch signs the bills into law, and the Judicial Branch acts as a review of the laws passed to see if they are Constitutional. The Supreme Court, a court which MN House District 27A doesn't have any direct relationship to, evaluates laws. Your confusing legal review with a three year old screaming for a candy bar, insisting the three year old should override the Supreme Court and the Constitution. Mind you, Peggy probably LOVED the legal review when it gave us Citizens United and Hobby Lobby, but her mind doesn't seem to be able to hold onto facts or memories, let alone do comedy.
#1 - because I think it's better to take pay billions of dollars in oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own oil because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher, or fish here in America. We don't care about beetles, gophers, or fish in the oil countries, just as long as they're in America.
There is so much stupid in this one...let's start with Peggy's desire for a good drilling, oil drilling EVERYWHERE in the country! She sure seems to want to kill off all beetles, gophers and fish in the USA. Sounds like a personal issue. She also doesn't seem to understand companies that drill oil in the rest of the word would be the ones drilling and buying the oil in the United States. And she doesn't seem to understand that under Obama, domestic drilling for oil, also much to my chagrin, has expanded dramatically, even after the Deep Water Horizon disaster. Is she for stopping all oil usage, or for the country to take over all domestic drilling? She gets lost halfway through. I'll giver her a pass. She had to count backwards from ten, so she must've been tuckered.
My commentary aside, the bestiality/dog sex joke bothers me, especially when you see Peggy Bennett around dogs. Animal abuse isn't funny, and the fact a supposed lover of animals would be joking about it in any capacity, in such a personal way, concerns me. I think the state and Humane Society should investigate the welfare of her dogs to make sure they're in a safe environment. Peggy, you might want to go talk to a therapist.
Republicans, no one comes to you for comedy. You're not funny. Maybe at one point in the 1890's (McKinley knew some wicked limericks!), but the modern GOP is a very unfunny place. Avoid making a fool of yourselves, and stick to non-comedy based scripts.
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