Hack

This is Zach Hample:

As you can tell by the photo, he's kind of a jackass.  He's one of those guys who has managed to take a worthless life skill, in this case pushing kids out of the way, diving into fight piles, and/or offering dad $100 to make their kid cry, all in an attempt to get baseballs hit into the stands at Major League Baseball (MLB) games, and turned it into a "profession."  Andy Warhol called and the alarm went off twenty minutes ago.

MLB decided to show some love for the troops and held a game between the Atlanta Braves and the Miami Marlins on Fort Bragg in North Carolina yesterday, July 3rd.  The game was for military service members, US Department of Defense members and their families, ONLY.  Zach doesn't fall into any of those categories, so instead of signing up for a tour of duty, he decided to take away a seat from a military service member, just so he could try to get a few more baseballs for his collection.

Hack (that's how I'll refer to him from here on out), insists he got his ticket legitimately through a 'friend' who's active duty, whose girlfriend doesn't like baseball.  It doesn't explain why Hack was on Tinder (that's right, the DATING site) offering $1000 for someone to get his sorry unpatriotic ass into the game.

Hack proceeded to collect 11 baseballs from the game, tweeting his conquest like it was some sort of glorious victory.

EVERYONE STOP!!!  Think about this for a second.  There are 11 children whose mother's and father's have the toughest job in the world.  They fight in the armed forces of the United States of America.  Their parents might be currently serving across the globe.  Their parents might've just returned from an active combat mission.  This might've been their first outing with their dad and/or mom in a year, and MLB, Atlanta and Miami put on this game to give to the troops, and their kids, specifically.

This jackass took baseballs from those 11 kids.  Think about the lies he made up, the stories he concocted to get players, staff and people in the stands to give him the balls.  He's slime.

I don't care if those baseballs would've instead gone to active military personnel.  The game was intentionally only for them, and if a baseball from a Braves/Marlins game is in anyway a thank you for their service, then THEY deserve a truckload, not Hack.

Even the military thinks this guy is a massive jerk.  The 82nd Airborne Divisions official Twitter page quoted Hack's bragging tweets and and told him to "delete your account!"  Hack, realizing about a day too late he's human trash, insists he gave away 10 of the 11 balls and that he's made a $1100 dollar donation to AMVETS.org.  You can't undo this, Hack, and no amount of after the fact piety will offset your atrocious behavior.

MLB should ban Hack from all baseball games in the future.  Hack should give away ALL of the balls he got at the Fort Bragg game, and he should sell off some of his massive baseball collection to help the family of service members who are currently deployed.  This game was for military families, a group of people who are often ignored outside of when they are handed a folded flag at a gravesite.  Hack, it's the LEAST you can do.  Or you can enlist for military service; your country needs you!  I was Army, so for more information call 1-888-550-ARMY (2769).

Marlins Man is a colorful character who sits behind home plate in bright orange Miami gear for most Marlins games.  He tweeted, " Zach, that game CLOSED to NON department Defense Employees and their family. Give any balls u have to kids and leave. NOW!"  Hack, when Marlin Man is smacking your caboose in the morality/high road category, you're really a disgusting human being.