Die Dumb

I love summer movies.  Mind you, most of them are absolute crap films, with God awful writing, massive editing gaffs, missing plot points, and completely unnecessary characters, only in the film because the movie company said they had to be.  But I still like them!  Summer movies are supposed to be a great disconnect, allowing you to shut down your mind as you enjoy a popcorn and soda, sitting in front of a big screen.

Sometimes the summer movie is shockingly good.  Go see Mad Max Fury Road.  It's incredible!  I'm also excited to see Inside Out.

One summer blockbuster I enjoyed years ago was Die Hard.  Bruce Willis starred as John McClain, a tough NYC cop battling a group of 'terrorists' who have taken over Nakatomi Plaza in LA.  When it was released in 1988, it was gobbled up as Reagan era propaganda, evoking cheers in the theaters as McClain took out the bad guys.  I still like the movie today.  It's enjoyable cheese, but the reality it promoted, through influencing other movies, and on culture itself, has contributed to various American ills today.  No, I haven't gone bonkers.  Die Hard is not responsible for our screwed up society, but it ushered in a new era in our culture which has permeated entertainment and our mindset.  Let me elaborate.

First, it started this over the top action genre which has dominated entertainment for 25 years.  Before this movie, action films were gritty, dirty and had a level of restraint when it came to action sequences.  No one had a guy jump out of a 20 story building and somehow miraculously survive the fall, because they wouldn't have.  After Die Hard, a 20 story fall was the dull part of the movie, with disbelief firmly suspended.  Most action movies afterwards had laughable scenarios, where the idea of someone surviving was comical.  Every Die Hard movie has an action "jump the shark" moment.  In the original, it was either when McClain managed to catch the elevator shaft vent, or when he's caught dead to rights as an elevator full of bad guys opens up in front of him, but somehow he runs passed it, hitting his targets while all of their bullets miss.  In II, it was the entire movie, but the worst was how long it took for grenades to explode on the plane.  III, the fall from the bridge.  Both he and Samuel L. Jackson should have died (and roll credits!).  IV and V are so bad they make II look believable.

John McTiernan and Jan de Bont created a flashy movie, designed to catch our attention, like a car crash; disturbing, but we can't look away.  How many movies came afterwards which were simply pitched as "Die Hard in/or on a   blank  !"?  How many movies were made afterwards where the script was never even a consideration?  The laundry list of horrific summer movies trying to copy the original fare is daunting.  Thanks Die Hard.

Bruce Willis is actually a very good actor.  Twelve Monkeys, The 5th Element and The 6th Sense (numbers, just noticed that) all are great, with him in a very enjoyable roles.  His personal politics don't bother me.  He's American like all the rest of us, so he can believe what he wants to believe.  I just wish he would focus on movies more like Pulp Fiction and less like Armageddon.

But beyond entertainment, Die Hard has contributed to one specific societal problem we have today.

Gun fetishists worship Die Hard, much like greedy pricks worship Wall Street.  I talk about this on-air.  The NRA, along with the gun and bullet manufactures, have cultivated a fantasy which pathetic losers have gobbled up.  If you have a gun on you, and terrorists take over the Mall of America, or the Foshay Tower, or the Xcel Energy Center, you can fight off a group of 20 to 30 trained experts willing to die for their cause with just your six shooter.  Actually, even the NRA realizes the six shooter won't cut it anymore, hence why they encourage their delusional followers to carry semi-automatic weapons into Target Stores.

As a veteran who has fired numerous weapons designed to kill other human beings, let me be blunt; if the minute the bad guys started shooting, you didn't turn and try to get away with anyone you could safely take with you, you will likely die, and the weapon you have on you will likely be used to kill other people in the carnage.  What do you think, a psychopath who is spraying a room of kids with bullets will give you a courtesy time out, so you can unholster your weapon, turn off the safety, lock and load and target the suspect?  No, you will get shot.  You might die quick, but then again, you might still be alive, very likely in shock, as the last of your life drains from your body, unable to help yourself, let alone anyone else.  If you want to try to help, that's very noble of you, but do not think the gun you have gives you any grand advantage, and be at peace with your God before you try.

Guns do not make you safer.  If that was the case, police departments filled with trained experts, many of them wearing guns on themselves, wouldn't be getting attacked.  Biker rallies, with hundreds of guns amongst the participants, would be the safest places on earth.  Die Hard was a movie; make believe, pure and simple.  Please wake up and realize that.

The movie also romances the loser underdog element a little too much for my tastes.  How much did John McClain screw up to where to redeem himself he had to beat a group of 20 guys in one building?  Must be pretty bad, as he was left back in NYC without the kids, to much of a jerk to be happy for his wife who had been offered a senior executive job at a major international corporation.  Not only did he choose his job over his wife and kids, a job he easily could have gotten in LA, but this jerk wasn't even planning on staying with his family when he got there.

You shouldn't have to save Nakatomi Plaza to redeem yourself, and any woman who stays with a 20 time loser, just because she hopes he can get himself in a terrorist take over scenario to prove he's not what everyone already knows he is, is sad.  If you have your wife and kids living across the country because you can't accept the fact your wife got a great job offer, maybe you should look long and hard in the mirror and say, "I might be the problem here."

Then again, out side of the gun worship thing, maybe I'm over thinking this.  Yippie Kay Yea indeed.