Yesterday I did something I did not think would be controversial. I posted this picture:
For people not from Minneapolis/St. Paul, that is the stunning mural of Bob Dylan painted by the fantastic Brazilian street artist Eduardo Korba. It's located on the east side of Hennepin Avenue at S. 5th St. in downtown. I took that photo while waiting for a traffic light as I drove home from the Guthrie Theater after a performance Saturday afternoon. I labeled the picture "my city is cool" on social media.
Most of the response to this image was positive, but this morning I've had a few Far Right nut bags belch out the same ignorant talking points from last Fall's election season which did not resonate with voters. They bellowed about how everyone in Minneapolis is robbed and carjacked, how you can't roam the streets without being murdered, that the crime rate is so bad the city is far less safe than an occupied Russian town in Ukraine, and (laughably) how the downtown is 'So Much Worse' than it's ever been. WOW!
Let's put aside the pathetic nature of these insults. The Right banked on bad-mouthing the Twin Cities as their path to victory in the 2022 elections, and it spectacularly backfired. The Democrats now control all of the branches of Minnesota government and all the Right can do is rage hate the Left. This rehashing of these failed talking points today is like an aged washed-up former high school quarterback who keeps talking about how "if the refs wouldn't have screwed us over we would've won the game!" You lost. Your hate mantras of the metro did not help, nor were they true. That bad game plan is on you. You trying to make "fetch" happen sounds more and more pathetic with each passing day.
By the way Idiots, don't ask why Republicans can't win in a city when all you do is constantly insult that city.
I know many of the people bashing the Twin Cities are sad pathetic douches, who live either in outstate Minnesota or elsewhere, who have never even been to Minneapolis, pathetic losers who are desperate to prevent from having to see what a freaking tragedy their own lives are, so they attack others in hope their inadequate miserable cold existences actually get some false warmth by being twisted and demented. I don't care about those losers. Just forget those people. It's easy!
This blog post is going to ask a simple question of the Right Wing haters who live in the Minneapolis-St. Paul's metro area but yet constantly attack it: Why the hell are you living here?
Seriously! This a legit question. Why, if you live in the metro area and can't stop bashing the city, do you live here? Costs alone make living here difficult so you'd better like it. If you stay and really hate it here, you're an idiot. Let's expose the truth about these pathetic losers.
We all have one trip on this spinning rock. It makes NO SENSE to be miserable while you are here. Your entire life should be a search for what makes you happy. Find the person you want to love, work the job that makes you smile, and live someplace which makes you happy. Yes, I'm going to take a few shots here, but the truth is if you truly hate it here, I'm only trying to help.
Most likely they'll first say "My job makes me stay!" No, it doesn't! It really doesn't, unless you are something really specific, like the Twins mascot. You can leave at any point and find work elsewhere. Marketing, accounting, legal, plumbing, grocery store worker, and corporate executive; these jobs exist everywhere. With your experience, you'll likely get hired quickly in another location. And if you are like a lot of people who work remotely, you can work from anywhere! If you really hate it here, your work is not a legit reason to stay.
This goes for business owners too, whether running a large company, small business, restaurant, or stand-alone shop. You can move your company at any time and relocate elsewhere, probably with major tax incentives and, if you go to a Republican state, they'll likely let you pay your workers peanuts. Go!
Next, you might say family is the reason you stay here. This is a mixed bag. If it's for kids and their school or sports, once again that is a weak answer. There are schools in other states. There are sports teams in other states. Your kids will be fine if you move. Do you think your kids are having a good time when every time they come home their parents are bitching about the community they live in? You are probably doing more damage than good staying here.
If you are staying here because of the health reasons of a loved one (elderly or not), that gets a little more complicated. For clarification, I'm not talking about people who say they have to stay for a parent when they really don't. Your parents will be fine without you, stop using them to hide YOUR fear of moving.
If you do have a parent who legit needs family here for medical reasons (it is Minnesota) I would suggest moving away from the city and living out in the country. That way you can at least avoid the areas you really hate. Even with health care needs, you never have to come to Minneapolis if you don't want to.
How about a weird reason? I know a lot of people who say they can't leave because the metro area has so many fun things to do, fun things they never once have done. They convince themselves the quality of activities in Minneapolis St. Paul (a self-contradictory reason) is too much to leave. Let's not talk about theoretical things you might do. If you never go to them, you're only using the metro's incredible calendar as a false crutch. If all you do is go to chain restaurants in the tertiary suburbs, fearing to go anywhere inside the 494/694 loop, you'd be just as happy in another place. If you're bashing the city, don't be a hypocrite by using its truly stunning activities as your excuse to not leave.
House? You can sell it. Favorite sports team plays here? You are supposedly too terrified to go to a game and can always follow them nationwide with a sports package on your TV. Do you have a good friend who lives here? You can still have them and make new ones in your new town too! The vast majority of reasons you'll produce to try to validate your staying are just garbage. You're a fool if you think you can't leave tomorrow.
GO! You'll be happier and we won't miss you! Or are you too lazy? Could be you're just a lazy ass.
But let's be honest. It's more likely you are lying, and you know it. It's how you try to make your sad life tolerable. You KNOW Minneapolis St. Paul is not nearly as dangerous as you insist. You know the city is amazing, with plenty to do, great restaurants, and beautiful parks. You know the quality of life here is much better than in other places. You know the schools in the metro area are better than most other states, and even if you don't like yours, you can open enroll, home school, or go to private schools if you don't like your local one. You know the pay here is good. You know the medical care here is good. You know the people here are good. You know ALL OF THIS and you still choose to be an evil jackass who hates just for hate's sake. You're a bad person and you probably should leave anyway. Go see if you can redeem yourself.
If you insist I'm wrong, that you really hate it here, then call my bluff. LEAVE, and go be happy elsewhere! I will applaud your decision and wish you the best. Like I said, you got one trip on this spinning rock so don't waste it. Go be happy!
If not, and I called you out correctly, just shut up! Your bellowing didn't work in 2022, and it sure as hell will not work on the people who love Minneapolis/St. Paul!
I will stand by my original statement: My city is cool!
