Thursday, October 9, 2014

Door Knocking

I want to share with you the Republican who is running to represent my district in the Minnesota House.  I've blotted out his contact info because I just don't want to show it.


Let's just start from the top and work our way down, shall we:

1)  There is a lot going on in that photo.  The hair, reflective glasses, stache, tie, flag, cigar, "leaning back on the hood of the car" look all says used car salesman from central casting.  There is also a "I can't believe I just won my court case" thing to it.  That photo screams...well it just screams.

2) I know the Scandinavian thing flies to a point in Minnesota, but the "ö?"  How do I pronounce it?

3) Nothing projects I want to be your duly elected representative more than the phrase "I am not a professional politician!"  "I am not a plumber but I want you to allow me to come into your house and tinker with the pipes."  Uhhh...no.

4)  The e-mail handle for the Republican candidate for MN House Seat 46B is "Senator Hat Rack."

5)  I don't know if Ben Franklin would want you, or anyone it today's politics, quoting him on their campaign literature, but that aside, are you saying you want to be elected just so everyone can question you constantly?  Pretty weak to try to validate your own candidacy by wrapping yourself in a founding father, like they endorsed you.

But wait, there's more!


Alright...

6)  WOW!  Let's start with the concept of centering the subject of the photo in the middle, not wanting to be off to the side or leaving a lot above the top of the head.  That is the expression of a man who just hypnotized himself, found out he has a serious illness, found out he is a magician, or maybe lunch just isn't agreeing with him.  I love the look of the photo, like you snapped it in a random aisle at the public library.  And nice jacket.  Is that from the Colonel Sanders collection?

7)  Why are you in front of the books?  Are you trying to prove you can read? You're smart? Are you hoping to relate to people who recognize the books behind you?  Are you trying to imply endorsement from the authors or the subjects?  Like using the Franklin quote, weak.

8) I get it, you think government is bad, but even if by a miracle of the ages you managed to get elected, how do you think you are going to convince the rest of the Minnesota government to shut itself down for the betterment of the state?  Armed insurrection on the floor of the House?  We do not live in a 30 person town or in some Libertarian experiment.  We live in a state of five and a half million and in a city of three and a half million.  You thinking you can turn off the government by flipping a switch is ignorant.

9)  "Because I am not a professional politician."  No, REALLY???

10)  You don't look to state government for solutions?  When the 35W bridge collapsed the government shouldn't have rebuilt it?  The state shouldn't try to help the farmer, or help keep our waters clean?  Are you insisting government doesn't serve a purpose in your life?  Look at your photo on the other side of your own flyer.  The street lights, vehicle you're leaning on, infrastructure for the office building behind you, the cigar in your own hand, all aided, and kept safe and working, thanks to the government.  And you're wearing a US flag tie.  How can you show support for the country your delusional political mindset would annihilate?  It's like saying, "I love Star Wars, especially when Marty takes the time machine back to 1955."

11) Stop with the give a man a fish/teach a man to fish parables.  Our current system is so corrupted by greed, the regular guy would have zero chance without some level of fairness being preserved by government.  If not for these basic rights, the middle, lower and working class would get steamrolled by the wealthy and powerful.  One of the main tenants of a government is to protect all citizens and help give the most vulnerable some level of fair representation.  They barely accomplish that as is, but it would be an Ayn Rand free-for-all without the basic security net the government reserves for all of it's citizens 

This is what happens when a political party just writes off districts.  They make themselves look worse by hooking their wagons to unqualified, rhetoric spewing simpletons.  The Republicans couldn't find anyone else to run in 46B?  

He asked me if I wanted a street sign.  I said no.

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